This past week I hit an all-time low when I realized that I failed in one of my goals for the semester – to bring Michael McColly to campus. I recently started a yoga club because I’m passionate about sharing how this practice can change people’s lives as it has changed mine. I’m particularly interested in showing people how yoga is so much more than a physical practice and can become an integral part of one’s everyday life and philosophy.
Over winter break I got very excited about the possibility of bringing Michael McColly, a yoga teacher, freelance writer and speaker to campus. I had read about him in “Change the World,” an article in Yoga Journal about yogis whose practice inspired their activism. I thought, and still think that he could lead a fantastic kick-off event for the yoga club because of his insight on how yoga can be used to help people experience their bodies as sources not only for mental and physical health but also spirituality, creativity and activism. He also has a fascinating story about the intersection between sexuality, AIDS, and spirituality all over the world, which he told in his award-winning book “The After-Death Room.”
I wrote back and forth a lot with Michael over the past few months, and I was all set to organize an event for the weekend of April 26th, right before Dean’s Date crunch time. However, this week I started actually organizing and realized that I began the process too late. Also, I felt very alone in my endeavor as I didn’t have the support of any club members… because I had not asked, perhaps afraid of lack of response. Basically, I dropped the ball. I was quite frustrated with myself, especially since I really thought a workshop and lecture by McColly would be valuable for the Princeton community.
I’ve realized lately that I like to engage in “community service” by organizing, especially big events. I got hooked on this kind of community service when I organized a successful walkathon as a sophomore in High School. I still remember my smile when my adviser congratulated me for a job well-done. My countless hours of work and frustration had paid off. I also felt fulfilled volunteering in direct service opportunities, but I never really felt like I was doing enough.
In this situation, I have failed from the start by not being organized or responsible enough. However, upon listening to my rants, a friend kindly asked me to really look at why I was so desperate to organize the event. While it’s true that I truly did want to bring Michael to campus for the benefit of the community, reflecting upon my motivations I recognize that I also just wanted to feel like I had “accomplished” something this year at Princeton.
While it’s certainly not bad to want to achieve and accomplish, yoga has taught me how to balance these desires with self-compassion. So I’m going to forgive myself for my mistakes, and try to learn from them, because beating myself up over spilt milk will help no one. I will try to keep in touch with my real motivations for planning these events, accepting and working through frustrations. Yoga has also taught me to relax where I am before I can go further. I will try to see if I might be able to work something out with Michael, but if I can’t, I’ll put my planning on hold until I can return to it with vim and vigor. In the meantime, I will try to plan smaller events for the yoga club which could be just as beneficial for those involved. I will relax with the fact that it is still my first year at Princeton, and I’m still figuring out what I want for myself and the club. Far from making me complacent, relaxing where I am will help me work towards my goals in a calm and efficient manner, constantly staying in touch with passion I keep burning through yoga and reflection.
- Elizabeth Cooper